CANADIAN SUBVERSION OF THE UNITED STATES

JOINT CIA/FBI WHITE PAPER ON THE LONG-TERM CANADIAN SUBVERSION OF UNITED STATES SOCIETY AND CULTURE THROUGH FOODS AND RESTAURANTS

This White Paper details the long-term planned subversion of the Government, Culture and Society of the United States of America by the Government of Canada.

This document has 5 Sections.

SECTION 1:

CANADIAN GOVERNMENT’S SECRET DEPARTMENT TO TAKE OVER THE LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

SECTION 2:

SEEMINGLY CASUAL INFLUENCES OF CANADIAN BASED FOODS AND FOOD NAMES ON UNITED STATES OF AMERICA PUBLIC OPINION

SECTION 3:

CANADA-BASED CHEFS AND THIER INFLUENCE ON UNITED STATES OF AMERICA’S SOCIETY

SECTION 4:

CANADIAN INFILTRATION INTO UNITED STATES OF AMERICA FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS AND THE LINKS OF THESE RESTAURANTS TO ANTI-AMERICAN ORGANIZATION AND THE LINKS OF THESE RESTAURANTS TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA MILITARY (Section 4 is divided into 2 Sub-sections: Sub-section A, and Sub-section B)

SECTION 5:

CONCLUSION

SECTION 1:

THE CANADIAN GOVERNMENT’S SECRET DEPARTMENT TO TAKE OVER THE LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Little is known about “Department Q” of the Canadian Government, although it is believed that it was started by the first Canadian Prime Minister, John MacDonald, in his megalomaniacal belief that Queen Victoria’s British Empire must include all of North America, and that the American Revolution was an egregious affront to the British. His seeming role as a “Father of Confederation” and amiable drunkard was merely a front to preserve British interests in North America from what he and the British viewed as an aggressive and expansionist United States of America. Later Prime Ministers, to a greater or lesser degree, secretly promoted this unbalanced view of the United States of America as an aggressor in North America, and constantly funded Department Q to this end.

One of the greatest breakthroughs of Department Q in attaining a major influence in the United States of America was under Prime Minister William Lyon MacKenzie King. In 1931, Department Q funded a project through its front at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. It’s agents, Frederick Tisdall, Theodore Drake, Alan Brown, and others created what was touted as a “nutritional breakthrough” in the field of childhood malnutrition. This “wonder food” supposedly was a provider of good nutrition and a preventative against rickets, while at the same time being easily digested without major side effects. This product was trademarked as “Pablum,” and sold throughout North America. It was later acquired by an American company, H. J. Heinz. Other Department Q successes in the Canadian Government’s efforts to subvert the Legitimate Government of the United States of America include such common-place American foods as peanut butter, canola oil, bread and mashed potatoes. This is dealt with in SECTION 2.

SECTION 2:

SEEMINGLY CASUAL INFLUENCES OF CANADIAN BASED FOODS AND FOOD NAMES ON UNITED STATES OF AMERICA PUBLIC OPINION

There are many insidious Canada-based food influences altering traditional United States culture and society. One of the most obvious sources of corruption is the re-naming or mis-naming of common American foods or food products, such as back bacon. This commonly used and popular United States made and produced product is often referred to as “Canadian” bacon by those who have unwittingly been duped by agents in the pay of Department Q, or those who use the term in ignorance. So great is the influence of Department Q in this area that a mountain peak in North Cascades National Park in Washington State is unofficially named Canadian Bacon Mountain (the USGS officially names it as Damnation Peak). Further influence of Department Q can be shown in their subversion of an FBI-sponsored information film warning of the misuse and incorrectness of usage regarding the proper naming of original United States food products. The film “Canadian Bacon” was reduced from a warning to United States citizens about the sly influence of Department Q in their day-to-day food affairs, to a farcical film in which the United States of America is portrayed as being weak-willed and corrupt.

Other examples of Department Q’s interference in the culture and society of the United States of America are:

  • The growing popularity of “poutine” over cheese fries
  • “Montreal Smoked Meat” instead of pastrami or smoked brisket
  • “Montreal Bagel”, rather than New York Bagel
  • The growing influence of “Oka” cheese versus American Colby
  • “Nanaimo bars” being represented as New York Slices
  • The official sanctioning and licensing of “BeaverTails” in the United States of America
  • The growing popularity of “candy” or “toffee” apples versus the traditional American caramel apple
  • So called “Canadian” pizza versus New York or Chicago pizza
  • The expanding influence of “butter tarts” versus pecan pie in the confectionary industry
  • The promotion of “Red River Cereal” as an American product
  • The popularity of “Canada Dry” in the United States of America
  • The increased popularity of “Homo milk” in the United States of America
  • So called “Canadian” whiskey (a hangover from the Volstead Act, when Department Q subverted United States Law by actively exporting illegal alcohol from Canada to the United States of America)
  • The growing popularity of Canadian beer in the United States of America, in particular a variety referred to as “Molson Canadian
  • The suppression of the American ice wine industry by Department Q in favor of the Canadian ice wine industry
  • The promotion of “Yukon Jack” over Southern Comfort in the United States of America by Department Q
  • In connivance with Newfoundland, which was a British Crown Colony until its 1949 union with Canada, Department Q actively promoted the corruption of United States servicemen at military bases there during WW II using “Screech.”
  • The subversion of the traditional American alcoholic beverage Bloody Mary with the Caesar cocktail
  • The attempted replacement of the American hotdog with the “Montreal” hot dog
  • The promotion of canola oil (telling, originally named rapeseed oil) over traditional American oils
  • “Marquis” wheat in place of traditional American wheats
  • “Instant” mashed potatoes in place of traditional American mashed potatoes
  • The claim that peanut butter was invented and patented by a Canadian, rather than by an American
  • The attempt to subvert the United States computer industry by promoting McIntosh Apples to certain individuals influential in the computer industry.

SECTION 3:

CANADA-BASED CHEFS AND THEIR INFLUENCE ON UNITED STATES OF AMERICA’S SOCIETY

Trained agents of the Canadian Government’s Department Q, posing as chefs, have been gaining popularity and notoriety in the United States of America via the medium of television. Programs showing or featuring these agents have been heavily promoted on channels such as The Food Network. In most cases, appearances of these agents provocateur on such programs as Iron Chef America appear to be innocent. However, they legitimize these anti-American elements by making their names known and acceptable in households across the United States of America. So acceptable have these disreputable elements become, that such classic American programs as Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, No Reservations and The Layover have been duped into filming in Canada, and even praising the cuisine. The names, identities and histories of these pseudo-chefs, as well as examples of turncoat American chefs in the pay of Department Q may be found in EYES ONLY SECRET FILE W.

SECTION 4:

CANADIAN INFILTRATION INTO UNITED STATES OF AMERICA FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS AND THE LINKS OF THESE RESTAURANTS TO ANTI-AMERICAN ORGANIZATIONS AND THE LINKS OF THESE RESTAURANTS TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA MILITARY

This section details the most serious present-day activities of the Canadian Government’s Department Q, and its attempts to subvert the legitimate Government of the United States of America.

Sub-section A deals with two United States companies which have been taken over by the Canadian Government’s Department Q, and with a Canadian company which is in fact a front for Department Q, which is rapidly expanding in the United States of America.

Sub-section B of this Section deals with three Canadian “restaurants” fronting for Department Q’s attempts to subvert the legitimate Government of the United States of America in possible co-operation with Islamic or Asian Powers inimical to the best interests of the legitimate Government of the United States of America.

SECTION 4, Sub-section A:

A&W Restaurants began operations as an American firm in 1919, in Lodi, California. By 1956, the firm had expanded sufficiently for it to begin expanding into Canada, opening it’s first Canadian franchise in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Shortly after, Department Q struck, infiltrating management and quickly taking over the company. It was this takeover that caused A&W to open a restaurant in Okinawa, Japan, in 1963, ostensibly to service United States military personnel, but in fact to exert Canada’s influence over United States military matters in Japan. Officially, the Canadian branch of A&W became separate from the United States of America branch in 1972. This was merely a ploy to appear to separate operations in order to have plausible deniability for any future actions against the legitimate Government of the United States of America. Proof of Department Q’s total control of the supposedly separate chains can be seen in the “American” chain’s adoption of the Canadian Mascot, “The Great Root Bear,” and “Ba-Dum, Ba-Dum” theme tune, written by Major Ursus. It is believed that Major Ursus is the cover name of a Department Q agent. It can only be speculated what plans Department Q has for future operations of the A&W front company.

The acquisition of the Wendy’s fast food chain is a rather more complex event. the original Wendy’s Restaurant was founded in Columbus, Ohio in 1969, and rapidly spread into Canada in 1975. However, for whatever reason, the management of Wendy’s was far more resistant to the overtures of the Canadian Government’s Department Q. It was not until 1995 that when the Wendy’s chain “acquired” a Canadian “restaurant chain” which was in reality a front for Department Q, that the trap was sprung. The “restaurant” chain in question, Tim Hortons, was ostensibly founded in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario by Tim Horton, an NHL player. Horton, his job done, later died in a “car accident.” The “merger” of Tim Hortons into Wendy’s gave Department Q an unprecedented way to expand into the United States of America. Taking advantage of the now compliant Wendy’s Company’s contacts, Department Q rapidly opened over 700 restaurants in the United States of America, including, tellingly, in Fort Knox, Kentucky, at the Naval Station in Norfolk, Virginia, at Naval Air Station Oceana and at the Aberdeen Proving Ground. Tim Hortons also has a considerable presence in the Middle East, with branches in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Fujairah, as well as in Qatar, Bahrain, Oman and Kuwait. There was even a presence, briefly, in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Its takeover and control stage done, Department Q “officially” split Tim Hortons from the Wendy’s company in 2009, becoming a “wholly separate” company, just as it had done with A&W.

SECTION 4, Sub-section B:

This Sub-section deals with Department Q’s infiltration into United States Society in two parts: possible collaboration with Islamic Powers to influence the United States of America, and possible collaboration with Asian Powers to infiltrate and de-stabilize the United States Military abroad.

The Islamic de-stabilization of the United States is being brought about by two Islamic-food type restaurants: Extreme Pita and The Pita Pit. Both were founded near Canadian universities (Wilfrid Laurier, in Waterloo, Ontario, and Queen’s University, in Kingston, Ontario, respectively). Both restaurants have rapidly expanded into the United States of America, specializing in locating branches, which may be used as subversion and recruitment centers, near universities and colleges in the United States of America.

Far more unsettling is the Department Q front restaurant which may have ties to Asian Militaries unfriendly to the United States of America. Manchu Wok was established in 1980 in Canada and quickly spread to the United States of America. Most disturbingly, of the 200 restaurants Manchu Wok operates, it has branches at United States of America’s military bases in Santa Rita, Guam, Okinawa, Japan (in conjunction with the A&W front store there), at the United States of America’s Army garrison in South Korea, and at the Ramstein Air Base in Germany.

SECTION 5: CONCLUSION

It is necessary for the United States of America be ever-vigilant to the threats posed to the legitimate Government of the United States of America by the rapacious predator that is the Government of Canada. The Government of Canada, since its inception in 1867, has constantly and without pause sought to destabilize the legitimate Government of the United States of America in order to overthrow it and restore it to the British Empire. Since the British Empire has in effect ceased to exist, it must be concluded that the Government of Canada wishes to overthrow the legitimate Government of the United States of America solely for its own purposes, to whit, to plunder the resources and People and Culture of the United States of America for its own selfish, Socialist ends, using the traditional food resources of the United States of America and its People.

6 comments
  1. If this article ended up on the Ron Paul website, there would be immediate calls for internment of Canadians. Great stuff.

    • It was in fact sent to Ron Paul, but was returned as being too factual and with complaints that there were too many long words.

  2. I spent the last two minutes reading the list of links at the bottom of the article and pretending it was postmodern poetry. Actually, a very pleasant exercise.

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